2010 The Ultimate Year of "re"

Well- what a year it has been.

That being the ultimate statement in itself, one can almost agree that there needn't be anymore said. Understood- agreed- moving on.

What is unique about 2009 is that it not only brought us together in new ideals, but- it also brought us together in struggle, hardship and pure unadulterated love. You see- now- in all our hardships and strife- we have learned to love better, give without material undertone and value what is most important in our lives- and that is family and friendship.

I have certainly had my share this year of what Id like to call "filtering". The Universe had been working long and hard on steering my direction to LA, a new job, a new home and new friends. At one point I really felt as if I was on newness overload. Consumed by my need to be in control I fought it every step of the way.

"Why this- Why that" I would constantly question my being, my presence and my contribution. What I failed to understand is that- its all part of the greater picture. The master plan so to speak. Through death comes life. Like a caterpillar creating its shell and then blossoming into a beautiful butterfly- my journey was just beginning.

The funny thing about struggle is it becomes a bittersweet challenge. For me, I am not built to fail. Every time I felt like I couldn't do it anymore and I wanted to retreat back home- there was the this sense of adrenaline that took over and forced me to go on. I know inherently that I am going to be somebody and to stop now, would be the ultimate tragedy.

So- with all the lessons learned, the challenge ahead is simple: rebirth- reinvention-rebuild- re re re....

How will you "re" do your direction?

Brittany Murphy- Sunshine Lost

This past week the the world lost yet another actor and entertainer - Brittany Murphy. At the young age of 32- her career and roles ranging from bubbly to serious- always made us appreciate her. For me- she was always the girl who made me laugh- starting from her debut on the movie "Clueless". 


Over the course of her career- Brittany was always all smiles. She was to me- what I try to be for the world- just happy. Ashton Kutcher said it best when he said " Today, the world lost a little bit of sunshine". I couldn't agree any better. 


Brittany- may your soul rest in peace and may your infectious laugh and brights smile light up the heavens- just as they did here on earth. 

Little Boy Fantasy Redux!

Now if we could only work on Thundercats and Voltron... Im just saying.

The Anatomy Of My "Drunk Face"

I guess they are all the same... but, they sure are funny.

The Proverbial "Skin"

I remember a conversation a long time ago I had between myself and 3 older women- about when we all became comfortable in "our own skin".  It was a random conversation as we all headed to LA in a stretch limousine. It was a fun night of cocktails at a Fendi event that brought us all together. The group of women  were all of different ages and backgrounds, so it made for a surprise conversation. One by one each of the women began to talk about how they grew in different stages of their lives to the next- ultimately understanding "who they really were".

I have always said that I was one of those mature kids that could have better conversations with older people than people my age. So this round table was sweet candy to me. However,  I have discovered that- just when you think that you know everything about yourself- you learn something new. I began to give my story as well- standing out as the youngest.

In the last year- I have learned more about my strength, my determination and my pride than most people learn in in 10 years. For whatever reason the lessons came quick- and they came with a vengeance. There were times when I just wanted to quit, to stop to give up and to cry- but I didnt.

I just kept going.

A feeling only matched by the memory of me running track in high school. Those moments when I ran till my legs were jelly and the sounds dimmed till I only heard a faint echo and the sound of myself breathing. I ran till it was over and I never stopped or slowed down.

Lately its been like that. My soul feels heavy with being tired by getting up in the morning and not being able to settled in LA- not being grounded- or having a place to call my own. I just wanna stop some days- quit my job, go back to Orange County and sit on the beach- maybe even drink a six-pack of beer. But- every time I get to that point of exhaustion- I just close my eyes, fall to my knees and pray for the courage to go one more day forward.

I am not in any way shape or form- comfortable with people helping me- or taking help. I have always been taught to be a fighter and to make it happen all on my own. But- lately- I have had to ask for help just getting by on life. I appreciate all the kind friends just supporting me- but in my head - its a battle to accept. My pride, my Achilles heel.

So I think back to that limo ride- when I proudly spoke of when I knew I was comfortable in my own skin. I think I said something like It was when I turned 21- and got my first apartment. I laugh at that answer now- mostly because it was a great big lie.

Im more understanding about who I am- and who I am becoming now- than I ever have been. One can only wonder if you ever really stop growing and maturing- and if there is an ultimate "Age of Wisdom" one can aspire to becoming.

Only time will tell.

Think Positive!

"Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it."
Raymond Chandler 




In life-we are constantly challenged in learning how to to fall, pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and become stronger, bigger and better people. It is this challenge that enables rich to be richer- wise to be wiser and regional thinkers to go global. 


But- in all the commotion of living a better life. I genuinely agree with Mr. Chandler- that Attitude determines how you do it. Being a firm believer in good and bad energy- one cant possibly think negative- day in a day out- and have great things happen to them. Its the "positivity" that will guide the soul in the right direction. Additionally- you can have all the money in the world- but if you have a horrible personality- you are doomed to be simply rich and miserably lonely. 


One can take that theory and apply it to many things- as I do- and really challenge yourself to be a guardian of positivity! We spend so much time gossiping, being angry, and just being negative- that we forget to wish ourselves life, happiness and good fortune. 


I challenge everyone to think differently today, so ill make this entry short. Live your life to its fullest and enjoy the simple parts of everyday- for they, as a whole bring more riches to your life than money ever will. 

An Open Letter to Love

Dear Love, 


Its been quite some time since you and I had a "heart to heart" - so to speak. how are you? Its my hope that this letter finds you in good spirits. 


Since last we spoke- I have been taking some time to work on me- which is why I haven't had much time for you. Its hard to imagine that you and I could be apart for so long. All things considered- you and I were like best friends. There wasn't a day that I couldn't stop talking about you- or the great things that you brought into my life. But, as great things rise- some must fall- and I needed too. Fall that is... away from you, so that I could appreciate you more. 


Over that last five years I have been on a journey of self discovery. Trying to figure out who I was, why I did things and how I could be better for the next time we met. There wasn't a day that hasn't gone by that I didn't think of the butterflies you bring, the cuddles, the memories and the happiness. God we go great together! All my memories serve me no justice as the feeling of being present to you pales in comparison to feeling your happy glow. 


Its my opinion that I needed this space. As hard as it has been- especially now during the holidays. I needed to grow up and become the man that could accept his responsibilities, live up to his potential and be happy with himself again. Life has a funny way of teaching you these things. Come what may- the fall of a great man is the greatest accomplishment he could have. You see what you learn as you are down; in life, career or love- will teach you most about the man you are- and yet to become.


So my dearest love. I hope you are well. I'd like to see you again- have some coffee or just sit and talk - catch up. Im sure you have much to tell of where you have been- and who you are now- and your journey as well. 


Best of all happiness, 
David

P.S. What do you say you and I have a picnic one day?