Moving

Well the clock has been counting down on my final days here in Orange County. I have spent the last week packing ever so slowly and today It was full steam ahead. I received confirmation on my new job and my new place in LA. So everything is set...including all my Vans!

I got to thinking about how many times I have moved and packed in my life and Its pretty ridiculous. I'm not sure if its even normal, but as I (yet again) strained to lift another box of stuff to the "done" area, I was suddenly hit with flashbacks & an overwhelming sense of melancholy.

You see, I believe packing is very symbolic and quite emotional.

There you are, with great hesitation- trying to put everything in your house into boxes. You take frames and clothes and plates and ever so gently pack them up to move, or even worse, off to a storage unit. Where they will be forgotten like foster children- waiting for the day they are once again "good enough" to be part of life as you live it. 

As you are packing you start to take inventory of what you have collected, how you have added on and what must be thrown away.

My how you have changed you ask yourself, stumbling onto some old yearbook or pictures of you with old friends. So much time has gone by and here you are...reflecting. 

Did you do what you set out to do in life?

Is this new move taking me in that direction?

Or...hopefully, how proud you are to come so far.

Those questions, taking inventory of what you own physically and mentally. 

Sometimes I'm more surprised about what I throw away and how I have moved on from finding value in certain things like...cards, or photos, or stuffed animals.

Today was very important to me. I feel that I have fought very hard to be who I am today. All these "moves" represent brilliant new chapters in my life.  A great book that has had many stories of friendship, love, heartache, family and much much more. But most of all its a story about strength and determination. Never giving up on your dreams, no matter how much the odds are against you. 

I have to admit, there were times that I was so lost and depressed. No amount of past success could have given me motivation to pick up and continue the fight. But...I did.

So, as I sit here looking at my life- packed in cardboard boxes, I find happiness knowing that I enjoyed how tactile ending this chapter was. Touching every moment of my life, thus far, with my hands. Appreciating how far I have come and how truly great I have yet to be.