Your Kind of Big Deal... Except to Yourself.

Not too long ago my dear friend Jade reminded me of an old saying that went something like...  " If you ever want to know the end- Take a look at the beginning".

Now for the record, being around Jade is always special because of her positivity, but it was this special moment- I really had to stop and absorb. She always knows what to say- at the right moment. This moment was right on.

It was less than 7 months ago that with a heavy heart and tank half full of courage - I moved to LA. With every ounce of strength I had left- I pushed, struggled and kept on smiling- regardless of my own personal built in critics and the judgmental public. I am a fighter- and I fought- never for a moment thinking of conceding (or renouncing any part of me) for a second.

What's important about this journey so far, is that I promised myself that come what may here in Los Angeles- I would keep true to myself, and I have yet to break that promise. You see, Its easy to get sucked into many things here in LA (or anywhere ) and I see it everyday. The talk of the industry, being an actor, a model, something- someone- who do you know, how can I benefit from knowing you. Its all part of this crazy town- but it is what it is. I cant blame it for anything. After all, it takes two to tango! To be fair- I have met many people who are very grounded and amazingly nice- but there is always a small- really small,  percentage of this personality!

What's hard to understand is how people so easily let go of themselves and who they are. Which is why that bit of wisdom Jade gave me resonated. How do people I know so dearly allow themselves to let material things replace good people and honest conversation. How do people allow "image" to be a part of what they are vs. who they are? Its all trivial I know- but at some point someone has to talk about the elephant in the room. Especially if they "are not someone- or somebody".

So here I sit asking...

At what point in your life is one not capable of reflecting on "How far they have come, Where they are going and If they are happy with the direction?"

the answer... is up for discussion.

A Year in Review & A Hug To Go With It!

Happy Holidays I assume is the appropriate thing to say at this point. The weather has been getting more and more crisp, the holiday decor has been creeping its way into every shopping mall, and every now and then, I can hear a holiday tune. Where has all the time gone, I ask myself. In a matter of a week we will celebrate Thanksgiving Day and shortly after that Christmas, and not to over embellish the captain obvious role Im taking- but yes- then we roll in the new year.


In 2009 the world has seen some amazing things like the first black President of the US take office, seen the first Hispanic Woman take seat on the Supreme Court and more importantly a shift in thought- globally. We are people on the verge of great and new things. This year has also brought us some unprecedented hard time and sorrow. We lost many iconic people in the music and entertainment industry like Michael Jackson, DJ AM, Farrah Fawcett- that list goes on and on. On top of that- All the horrible tragedies world wide that seem to consume the news every time I turn it on. Then there's  the meltdown of our economy, the recession and out country's struggle to survive. Oh and- Hello Swine Flu- the last great panic attack of the people and the more than likely the profit of the drug industry- somebody buy me some stock in hand sanitizer!!!


Our country needs the holiday... if anything to regroup- an sincerely be "thankful" - to be reminded of what we need to value most- our family. To love unconditionally because tomorrow is not guaranteed- to value each other, because at the end of the day, thats all we have. To give effort into reviving the common decency- as we support each other as Americans, as Human Beings everyday- no matter who we are, what we do and where we live. The return of the smile and hello as you pass each other on the sidewalk. We need the holiday cheer, we all need to smile and let a little happiness into our life. This year has been rough.


Maybe my pipe dream is getting the best of me but- I just think it will all do us some good. So, remember folks. In some way, shape, or form- we all have had a crazy 2009. So lets take a moment to be human for a moment, be kind, and be filled with love. Only good things can happen if we do. 

Looking Back at Being A 20 Something.

When I was a "20 something" - and all the world was my oyster, I used to think that I was very mature. Id appreciate the company of older friends or co-workers and felt wholeheartedly that I related much more to them- than my peers.

But- as I started to bleed that theory into my dating life, or career, or school- It would only be a matter of time before I got the "Your so young" conversation, which was usually piggy backed by the "When you turn 30, everything changes" conversation. I used to be so annoyed by those talks and hated defending my old soul and maturity.

Thirty Three amazing years later- I look back in retrospect and agree with everything that everyone said. I truly knew nothing.

Now- I oddly finding myself surrounded by many young guys with similar thoughts- struggling to prove they are indefinitely more mature than we "older" guys make them out to be. Begging for an opportunity to prove that they are the exception to the common twenty year olds and must be given a chance. But- as we all know- there is no such thing- or is there?

Can it be possible to meet a younger person (man or woman) who is wise beyond their age. Responsible beyond their means- or "lived" beyond their experience? In my opinion- No. But I'm open to hearing stories of this Lockness Monster.

I believe that life has a funny way of changing you- and most importantly teaching you about things that cannot be learned without trial and error. The most important lessons I have learned in life were learned through mistakes I made,  hurt I felt and tears I have cried. Now- of course there were things I learned as well through the wisdom of parents and friends- but none were nearly as life changing as things I went through all on my own.

I hear myself turning into the crazy preacher I hated explaining with conviction that "Life will teach you more about yourself, your strength, and who you ultimately be as a person." Eyes then roll and I shrug it off with a laugh- but I know Im doing my part.

So as I continue to grow and learn (cause it never ends) the best thing that I can do, is continue the cycle of advice, and urge them to be true to themselves- no matter what people tell them. One day they will be thirty three and remember me- and all I said, or what I tried to say.