The glass is always half full

In LA you can be going at a hundred miles an hour and not even realize that you forgot to eat lunch or get your first cup of coffee. Angelino's tend to overbook everything- mostly because we can't say no to anything or anyone. The only time we can commit to anything truly - Is when we cancel on someone. That part is mostly a blessing- because you are overbooked anyways.

This last month has been so hectic that the moments that I do have to catch up seem like- those hazy mornings after a day of drinking- you know the Sunday brunch kind that start at 12 and end when you pass out fully clothed at 9 pm. 

I have been going at such a face pace that the only thing to slow me down recently has been emotions. I met someone recently that kinda threw everything into a cluster fuck of questions and debating - suitable for only a 13 year old girl and her crush on the captain of the football team. That being said- I'm uncomfortable with what's happening- in a good silly way of course. 

Ill start by saying this- Life is unpredictable and unapologetic- so my questions are never valid. I don't ask why things happen anymore, I just try to adjust as best as possible to the scenario.

With in a week I have managed to become so vulnerable and disassembled that I cant function properly and find myself doing things that I normally wouldn't do. The list is heavy- but checking my phone responses to text messages is the worst offender of all. I hate myself for that.

The bigger issue here is being vulnerable. 

With all the mistakes we have made in our lives- how do we even remotely try not to read into a simple meeting for yogurt or witty banter via text messages? Allot of us go into meeting people with bravery and confidence- but how do you put just enough to not get your hopes to high? 

Then there are the bruises of relationships passed that seem to linger and make you question whether or not you even want to go there at all. 

I think the Virgo in me is completely taking over right now. The sensible side of me says your fine and just play it cool. You are still strong and successful regardless. The Virgo inside of me is screaming "CRAP" not this again- your heart is so fragile and only for someone who can REALLY take care of it this time. 

I'm sitting here laughing at myself over all of this. I guess I have come a long way from three months ago. So I will end with this...I am truly grateful- no matter what- to be living. 

All the colors and people truly bring happiness to my life and come what may- I am just grateful for the gift of getting up every morning to take another stab at it. The glass is always half full!