Some things never change

So I was back in South Coast Plaza a couple days ago- it was quite the experience as usual. I usually get a bit of anxiety going there because of my history. 

You see, South Coast Plaza and I were like lovers who were, at one point- deeply in love. A relationship that lasted for over 10 years. We met and became infatuated at very young age, I was 20 and naive and "she"- a bit older than me. She had the sophistication of the New Hampshire blue bloods and a personality that was so refreshing, especially to a wide eyed boy from Guam. I remember all the details like it was yesterday.

She dazzled me with the couture of Versace, Prada and Fendi. She intoxicated me with five dollar cappuccinos and twenty dollar lunch breaks. I was helpless- I had no chance. I was completely infatuated with her life. She was a world that I had never experienced before, at least not in the humble beginnings I came from. I knew then- I was in trouble. 

I worked for five years at the Gap Kids and then four years at Zutopia, a kids division of Wet Seal. I had the best times working in children's clothing- it was never too serious. I always knew that if I left working in kids clothing- I would hate it.  Zutopia eventually was closed by Wet Seal in a hasty decision to save money and the company from bankruptcy. This move prompted a leap of faith into the world of adults and the world of luxury. 

I found my way to Barneys and spent 4 years there, I loved that job. Its such a shame that things ended so poorly- like end of the Clinton presidency. Nobody remembers all the good he brought to the nation. The billion dollar surplus we had,  Hillary, education, and a bustling economy. They just remember Monica- what a shame.

When I look back on that career- I realize I had many chances to get rid of people that were toxic and keep the people that were good. I was very much blind to the back stabbing and plotting that was happening right in front of me. It was a story that Shakespeare would truly appreciate - its funny how, even in a retail store, people can be as drama filled as in some over fluffed Hollywood political movie. Honestly- we are not saving lives here. I knew I should have stayed in Kids clothing!

So back to my visit to the mall. 

Allot of people have changed stores and probably are better for it, others are still the same- no matter where they go. If you think of South Coast as high school, people have graduated and people have moved on- some retained, but they all still go to the same school. They all gossip, they all have their cliques, and all eat in a cafeteria of sorts- in a cast system. If I ever write a book- you will read it and love it. 

But some things never change. 

For the three hours I was there I managed to run into old friends, have lunch with good friends and and yes- even had people whisper and gossip about me. wow. I don't care though- its just funny. What a bubble.

A relationship like I said with an intense "love" that I cannot avoid running into. The kind of love you cant get over, regardless of how hurt you were. My visit was like meeting up again for coffee, reminiscing about good times, but leaving remembering the hurt just as clearly. But all still love.

Today I start my day with a new perspective- and some coffee. I hold a bit of selfishness, but more interest in self preservation, focused on personal passion and true inner balance. A vague strategy but a strong direction. 

OK- enough - time to move forward and prosper!