Prayers for Bobby

Well, here I am blogging on a Saturday night- nothing can be more exciting than that. Dare I use the blackberry to make plans, or dare I even take on some sort of productive and responsible adult chore. Nope- I dare not. So I sit, turn the television on and search.

I am reminded and excited about the Lifetime Movie "Prayers for Bobby". A true story about Mary Griffith- a bible banging mother who son commits suicide after coming out to his family. Bobby struggles to deal with not only being accepted by his family, but by his God fearing mother, and accepting himself. 

Needless to say this story was a great story to tell, and it was told so eloquently. You have the perspective of the mother, Bobby, his family, the community and the church- all being told with honesty, and candor.

As I struggled to keep the tears from falling- my heart sunk and my memories were stirred. They call "Coming Out" one of the hardest things to do in a gay persons life- and being gay I can relate to this. Because as any gay, lesbian or transgender person could tell you - we all have our own version of the story to tell. 

I was lucky enough to not have it as hard as Bobby, though I did have my own set of challenges to overcome. A father and grandfather in the Army, a conservative catholic up bringing and a yes- a mother. But there they were- the silent whispers in your head that wont go away.

I had these thoughts. This interest if you will, in the same sex. An interest that became a feeling and a feeling that became a struggle. I asked myself many days "why- why was I thinking these thoughts?" I didn't want to be different- and these feelings forced me to face a reality that a 14 year old child really doesn't need to deal with. Acceptance, failure, perception and rejection - Why couldn't I just deal with wearing cologne for the first time, pubic hair, teen pregnancy or even drugs! Anything but this thought. 

The reality was I still had to deal with all those thoughts -and being gay.

Ill fast forward. I came out to my sister when I was 18, she was 14 at the time and she was so amazing. She had some idea that something was not "on spot"-but she graciously supported me. My aunt was next, and in an unexpected whisk of fresh "we were waiting for you to tell us" she hugged me and we bonded more. Mom was next, then friends and so forth.  Over the next five years my family allowed me to be who I was, and love me unconditionally. Of course there were certain things that were just never talked about with grams and gramps- but in time that too was replaced with love and support.

I am blessed to have had it so easy- Bobby's story is a representation of what a majority of young gay men and women go through. Some of them never make it past the struggles, family and religion- and sadly end their lives. That is why I feel that this movie is so important. This movie will find its way into the homes of the bigoted, the minds of the narrow and the prayers of a young man struggling with his sanity.

I pay homage to all the stories and tragedies before me that allowed me to come out and be gay a little easier. To all the bad representations that the news allows to use as stock footage of gay pride festivals and to all the people more daring to talk about gay and lesbian issues. For they are the true pioneers in sub culture I belong to- being gay. 

This movie reminded me that I have a gift and a responsibility to continue to pave the way for many gay people after me. To make sure that if I am not happy with the interpretation of equality gay people are given that I fight. If I am not happy with the images and portrayals of gay people in the public- that I lead by example. 

But most importantly- I  have to get involved. As our president call on us to be part of the change. I call on myself to be part of the support network in the gay community as well. Something in me has stirred tonight- and I must do my best to step forward be part of a better story to tell.

Thank you to Sigourney Weaver, Mary Griffith and Bobby for paying forward this important story. It has, in many ways made it a little easier tonight for people to understand the beginning of a gay mans journey in life.